Two Faced

Ever wondered how easily someone can be two faced? It is pretty easy actually.

Shakespeare said, "To be or not to be, that is the question." In other words, you make the decision on whether you want to be two faced or not. Being alive for 20 years 9 months and 3 days has taught me many things indeed.

People can be such a hypocrite.

It's easier said than done though. It's funny how everyone is going on about how one should not judge and all, but truth is, everyone judge. Everyone can be open minded but the truth is no one is actually open minded like they said. So does that mean that everyone is two faced at some point of time?

I think everyone is guilty of this; I know I am. I used to think that by doing this I am indeed "fitting in". I realised "fitting in" isn't necessary because you only need a few people that actually cares. You don't need the whole world to back you up. If you have someone that is willing to be there for you, that's enough.

This quote still stays true till today...

I'M FINE

I was fine by myself when this happens. I certainly believe that I can live well by myself. I tend to wallow myself and let the darkness consumed me and I will end up just fine. But really, was I fine?

Whenever someone said "i'm fine", you should NEVER ignore them and let the person be. Sometimes, that person just needs a hand she can hold, a ear that listens to her or even a shoulder she can cry on.

The world is going on at a fast pace. People says that we should catch up with the world if not we get lagged behind. If everyone does this, who will be there in the end? Everyone will be too busy to even notice others.

Stop moving life too fast, if not, you will never know when someone needs you.

FRIENDS

They say all relationship will bound to come to an end. Only family will stick with you till the end.

All my life, I always value friends before family. I could always open myself up more to friends than family. To be honest, I am quite awkward with my own family though I live with them.

Once, my teacher asked us to rank our values; I chose money, friends then family. A merely 20 year old girl believes that money is the most important thing in the world. I was quite puzzled when my friends answered family as first. I've been raised to think that money is the most important. I've come to terms maybe friends is as important as money though I never forgo the thought that money is still my priority. :\

Growing up, I've come to sense that friends come and go; families are just there. I've never really had someone I can call a best friend. At most, I would "label" my friends as close friends. No one was ever in my "best friend list". To me, close friends are the highest rankings I could ever allow strangers to be at. It's sad to say that I've been living like this but like I said, friends do come and go; families are just there.

If you are my friend and you are reading this, feel free to pack up your bags and leave me. I will get used to your disappearance.

First Post in 2018

Hi world! Can't believe it's already 11th of April already and I'm only updating this blog now... OOPZ 8)

Anyways, since I am 4 months late, I shall update on how 2018 has been for me...

I am currently an Early Childhood student since March 2018 and will be a certified Early Childhood teacher by August 2019. So far, school has been vexing as there are alot assignments and my current one is 90%!!! SOBSSS :(

Anyways, seeing one of my friends kinda active on tinder makes me wanna go back to e-penpal-ing LOLZ. It was fun until I got random emails from creeps -ahem-

Back to topic, it's only my 2nd month of school and I think I'm growing old fast. I'm taking the week off from work but this means I won't earn as much. I still nid to pay off my remaining school fees. A classmate said that I won't be able to use all of my government funds and I'm like "I'm so doomed". :\

I need moneyyyyyyy and at the same time I kinda got a wishlist :\ Life is sad when you don't get what you want.

So I heard my field praticum won't be a paid one and this sux since I wouldn't be able to earn. Plus, I can't even quit my salad job HAIZZZ... Been wanting to quit since the day I started LOLZ.

My life as a student is so far not as smooth-sailing as I tot it would be. Heng my first group was awesome and we were able to do it way ahead before dateline. The 2nd group work was vexing as there were so many edits to be done. Also, I gt sick my stress level went higher zzz

I'm currently doing my third module and guess what, itz 90% and itz individual ._.

GREATTTTTTTTTT...

Let's hope I can finish at least 90% of the workload by this weekend so I can slack LOLZ HEHE 8)

Life Is Full Of Dramas, Literally

So, I'm at Season 7 of The Vampire Diaries already and it's been a whole ride of ups and downs. I kinda miss Klaus now. It's weird how I shipped Caroline and Klaus together. Maybe I'm just a sucker for British accent.

The drama is getting boring though, been thinking to start watching Riverdale but I'm scared I'll be hooked to it like I am with 13 Reasons Why.

My life is kinda dramatic as well. As much as I like dramas, real life drama is a drag especially if there is no happy endings. I still remember a story I read at wattpad about how happy endings aren't actually an ending. In fact, happy endings are just a new beginning. Nothing really last, especially happy ones. Good things don't last. I just have to deal with it.

The next round of university applications is coming soon and I still haven't figured out what I want to do. The only problem I think is, can I actually get into uni? As much as I want to get in, I don't think I am able to get in. Sucks huh? I guess dreams don't work unless you do. My GPA is like shit and if I can't get in, private schools are my only ticket to have a degree. Diploma isn't enough in this century, apparently.

So... for now I made a list of things I need to get it done by September, before I submit my application.

1. scan the remaining academic transcripts and personal achievements

2. scan my ID

3. get a passport sized photo (maybe in softcopy as well?)

4. write my resume

5. write my personal statement

6. write my essay

7. get a screenshot of payslip or CPF statement (i think this part is the easiest)

8. prepare for announcement of acceptance/rejection (YAY?)

I guess worse come to worse, I will just enlist in the army? LOL at least I would have something to do. On the side note, as I'm grumbling about how sad my life is, other people are worst. I have this coworker who don't even have a diploma and is struggling to get a full time job. I guess now the economy is bad huh?

I just hope things will be better next month. :\ 

I'm The Same Me Though..

Bangs on the front

Centre parting at the back

Contact lenses in

Spectacles out

The people smile at me

I broke into a smile

Arms stretched wide

Squashed they made me

Bangs to the side

Side parting all the way back

Contact lenses out

Spectacles in

The people ignore me

I broke into a frown

Arms stretched wide

Hollow they made me

Life Is Like A Rose; there are good times & bad times

Living life in b&w was tiring... I decided to live life in colour again. Friends are forever, boys are juz there. I don't need them.

So from yesterday onwards, I've revert back to the good ole days when I read all those tragic stories on wattpad especially those triggered stories. Well, since my life is already so pathetic, these stories actually made me feel much better as my life isn't that bad juz that it will still be suckish and I can't change it.

I sort of scare him away when I asked for a closure. Tbh, I didn't even know what I was doing. It felt bitter of coz but I kind of agree tat we are better of as friends but I juz dun get wat he means by him not compatible wif me. Itz either his putting himself down or itz legit true. I think itz the former though.

Anyways, the good thing is I no longer have school so I won't bump into him. Such a bummer though coz I keep "seeing" him everywhere. But I believe I'm done with this. I'm okay being friends juz tat r/s haz to wait a few years I guess...

SO ytd onwards I had a curfew I think; 10pm. It suckz... no more going out late I guess haizzzzzzzz I wan more freedom!!!