Enough about food, I am also feeling more lethargic with the life I'm living in now. It is very tiring and I am not enjoying it especially my school life, aside from the crazy antics when I'm with people I really like and are comfortable with. I feel like I am lying to myself a lot lately. I do not like the me now. I want a new me. A me that is braver to achieve her dream and not the cowardly me who is studying something to earn a stable income in the future.
I don't ever want to end my school life actually. I know I'm destined to take the burden of supporting the family once I started working. This actually meant that I cannot be who I want to be. I have to slog myself out to earn more money to be able to have some for myself at the end of the day.
Well that aside, I found my hidden talent. I can write poems. I mean everyone cans but words seemed to flow out the moment i write a line. It feels incredible. For once, I don't feel awkward doing something. The content for now is a bit cliche though. But I love cliche, it's like the best thing ever. However, I think I need to think broader? Look forward to see the new me at wattpad :D
Wow I never thought my country has so many beautiful places. I think I really should explore one day. Been living in a hole for 18 years+ (going 19 in 3 days). Damn. The funny thing was I only found out I lived in an unlucky level when I was 18. Unlucky 13 floor HAHAHAH. I don't necessarily feel unlucky though so I think it's still ok.
School has been shitty. I feel like quitting actually, ever since I was in year 1. I thought it wasn't meant for me. But quitting means, I have to abandon everything in that school, even my CCA mates. I don't want that to happen. I value relationships more than anything. I think I'm stupid for not being ambitious, I mean, I'm not even future-oriented for my life. I just want a simple life but the world is stopping me. Change is for the better but what if I don't want to change?
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